What God Cannot Do

How do you fall so deep?

How can you love love and not love pain? but how can you get so addicted to a kind of pain that it becomes a painful thing to want to walk away, yet you wish and cuss beneath your breath that’s fading away, by the way, you wish you never walked her way.

How can walking away from glaring toxicity making pain seethe beneath your skin become so much a long walk to freedom, even with the knowledge of you walking away – its final lap ‘gon be a victory lap, how can another human being become so much of an acquired taste you can’t seem to let go even when the taste is bad.

Intermission_¹

How do you love someone but only in words, and actions speak otherwise but you are ever so reassuring in lip service, how does one grow so subtly evil that manipulation is masterfully executed by them even in their subconscious, how does the cruelty of this world create such a damned finesse.

Intermission_²

Tell me something, at what point does the body tell the mind enough! at what point does the mind agree it has had enough of breaking? how many betrayals make 1 it’s over? how many kisses does it take to identify a Judas? What is the pain threshold for rationality to eventually have the upper hand against emotions in actions?

Aftermath¹

Quick questions;

• Dear reader, how many times does a heart gotta break before the next I love you it hears sounds like a threat?
• How much reassurance, from a show of genuine affection does a heart in bits or pieces of different sizes of trauma need for it to start genuinely believing in love again?

I have an answer for the first, but not the next. The first, for me, was a couple of bits of disappointment, then one main heartbreak. The next question, I’m yet to find an answer to.

I don’t have a problem with commitment, I just don’t want to commit suicide.

Aftermath²

To exes of all sexes that have existed in spaces, spaces they made nothing but a hell of, when you go texting in possible hopes of re-entrance into a life that’s still even in a place of aftershock, claiming repentance and a kind of love you are not known for, hope you know you testing!

^Sighs: calm down cirphrank

It’s kinda like a chandelier in the sun, a metal genre song kind of lullaby, the love that you claimed, and claim you have for me – it’s like what God cannot do, it does not exist.